The alarm clock rings!!!!!!!Had a sudden wake up.while looking outside there was enough sunshine
that disturbs my sleep.Just looking into the clock makes my eyes out of the eye socket.
11AM in the frame makes me feeling so lazy to go to office,
so brain started searching some raw lies so that i can keep myself away from the office.
This time head ache finds its way to get delivered through phones and my next thing is what to do
for the rest of the harthal day.
I went outside searching some shops to get my stomach satisfied.2 hours past and i felt like my stomach stairing at me.
Finally i reach in front of our favorite place,West way Inn renamed as allapatt regency.
Bar is opened,but not ready to go since need to drink alone.
So make a call to my dearest friend nishant.But he also disappointed me as he is having a tough time at office.
So decided to go alone just thinks whatever it is.
The watchman having an awful look at me and asking alone? what happened?
I told him with a gentle smile "sometimes it happens without reasons".
With so gentle smile on the mouth he replied without reasons ehe ehe???
I finds my normal seat vaccunt and was ready to get seated which depreciates my
feeling of loneliness.I found myself uncomfortable as nearest seat remain unoccupied.Without making
so much complications in the mind I ordered for 1 peg DSP Black and 2 chapatis and fish curry.
I think this is the first time in my life having drinks alone.
So a feeling of dissatisfaction starts creeping in my mind,and once the first peg got over, asked for a repeat twice.
Within an hour those glasses
became empty. The feeling of unoccupied vaccunt seat is blowing in my mind each and every 10mins.
That make me to order for another 2pegs and once that is over i just have a feeling that half fit.
Now my eyes starts finding it very difficult to capture the vision.
Technically speaking retina find it hard to grab the distant objects.
Any way i can see a blurred image of 2 people coming towards my seat,one girl and a boy.
That was enough to capture the her cute smiling even though 100km apart.
Some dark memories starts reflecting on my mind,even i tried to close my eyes,but
my mind,brain all struggling hard to erase that smiling assassin, my old classmate.
I could feel nothing other than the cold blankness within me.
she shouted ‘Hey mathai’
I raised my head. It was ****** and some guy of 6 feet with a corny face and blue eyes near her.
I was surprised to see her after a long time. Anyway that was not the best time to have reunion.
Hi, it’s been a long time since I saw u. It is really a surprise dude. By the way this is my boyfriend christiano ’,
she introduced the 6 feet corny faced guy. Tall guys were always her weakness.
Any guy with an above average height could simply make her blush.
She didn’t care whether the guy was a moron or such if he was tall enough.
As expected she started her usual annoying and intriguing questions and statements.
‘Where were you all these times?’
‘Oh you have gained some weight. Do some exercise’
‘Life here in city is fun. Right?’
‘Where are you staying?’
‘You have any contact with old guys? I have lost all connection’
‘By the way what are you doing now?’
I find it difficult to answer her not because i am fit but something else was there to tell as a reason.
few minutes after wards they had their dinner and left the place saying goodbye to me.
Soon afterwards me to had a sudden exit and reached my room and went back to bed.But Even after many long hours I found myself staring at the ceiling hardly finding any sleep. Many attempts went futile turning around in frustration trying to find some sleep.
I walked to the balcony . In the darkness and prevailing silence, looking at the tall buildings all around without a sign of life anywhere, suddenly made me feel quite alone. It felt like I was staring at my past. In a rush to build a life of your own you tend to forget people who were with you. Does it happen with all the others or is it just with me? I don’t know.
Where do I start telling about her, H********? If I am pressed to say why I loved her, I feel it can only be explained by replying: "Because it was her; because it was me." I didn’t have a reason not to love her. She was adorable in all possible ways. I admired , worshiped and cherished her in my dreams but never mustered courage to go and tell her. Many a time after that I resented over my lack of courage.
We were good friends back then, in-fact great friends, talking for great lengths over the phone sharing stories gossips and secrets, but never had the courage to reveal the sacred one. I just didn’t want to put our friendship at stake, but eventually lost both of that. If I had proposed her would she have said a yes? I don’t know. I will never know. Slowly it got added with many other 'what if I had done that' which occurred in my life. Though it was selfish I was in a way happy that even after such a long time I had some love left in me for her.
The rain started to drizzle down. I watched it come down slowly in tiny droplets. May be I was searching for someone's face in the drizzle. I wish I could stand in the rain and let it wash all the pain away from my heart letting me start again.
I took another smoke. Why didn’t she marry yet? Though she is a year younger to me, it’s a bit late for a girl to get married. She was ambitious even then, used to say that she would marry only after achieving something in life. Many unanswered questions kept poking me hard. Should I go and see her for one last time. I decided against that, if anything is left behind let that be her smiling face. I can find some excuse to tell him. Like always I will get back to the blissful comfort of forgetfulness.
I was half aware of burning cigarette’s butt against my skin. I wish I could burn away all these memories as easily as that.
I must have been standing there for quite long. I slowly walked back to my room. I watched my wife having a sound sleep, couldn’t stop myself feeling little jealous. I silently slid to my side of the bed with a hope of finding some sleep.
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